Let's Go Fishing!
by Atopos
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu have to get their hostage back to the hideout safely and feed themselves... One out of two isn't too bad for them. Rated for Hidan's swearing mostly.


Atopos - I finally decided to post something. I wrote this today in Biology, but I gave the original to a good friend.I made thiscopy up quickly so I could post it.I own nothing, but I dedicate the plot to all those who have a love for Kakuzu and Hidan doing wierd things. Review if you like it!

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**Let's Go Fishing!**

"Just because I'm doing this, doesn't mean I like it."

Kakuzu felt like rolling his eyes at him. "If I made you do something you liked, I'd have no fun in life."

Of course, this sounded true to Hidan's ears. He gave a tiny scowl and crossed his arms, staring at his partner as they decided what to do for the night. They had to eat, that much was clear, and maybe it would be alright for them to feed their captive who sat about ten feet away.

"We'll catch some fish, sleep for a few hours, then head back to the hideout." Kakuzu stated quickly. He already had two brand new (and overly expensive for his tastes) fishing rods waiting for them. "Do you understand?" He asked, making it sound as if he was talking to a child.

Hidan actually did roll his eyes. "Duh, I'm not a fucking idiot. Do you think we should fucking bring our hostage over so we can keep an eye on him?"

Kakuzu looked over Hidan's shoulder to stare at the man. He was completely tied up, and the two Akatsuki members had even considered putting a gag on him. That idea was quickly tossed away when they learned that they didn't have anything to use. 

Hidan suggested one of his socks. Kakuzu told him that they only wanted to scare the man, not kill him. 

Finally, Kakuzu shrugged. "Do what you want."

Hidan clenched his fists and turned around to retrieve their captive. "Fucking asshole. The bastard. Not even giving a fuck about the mission."

Kakuzu was already waiting for his partner when Hidan came back, his right hand holding a string that was tied around the captive ninja as if it were a leash. The ninja was very much afraid of the two who had caught him. He didn't know what kind of magic they were using to make his attacks useless. 

Hidan pushed the ninja down against a tree, picked up one of the fishing rods Kakuzu had brought with him, and decided to fish next to his partner.

After having to be told that you had to throw the line with the lure into the water before you could fish for anything, Hidan became excited about the new experience. This, of course, came from someone who didn't know what fishing was and believed that standing at the edge of a pond magically created fish. Kakuzu believed his partner was some kind of idiot king.

So, Hidan waited…and waited…and waited…then got really angry and threw the fishing rod against a rock. He was very satisfied when it broke into two separate pieces.

Kakuzu sighed, wondering why the hell he was with the moron in the first place. "Can't you just relax? It always takes awhile before the fish bite." He knew all about how to catch fish. He used to sell them for a pretty penny when he traveled with his other partners.

"I'll fucking show you relaxed!" And with that, Hidan yanked off his cloak and jumped into the waist-deep water with just his pants on.

Kakuzu, though, closed his eyes, praying that his headache would just go away. Unfortunately, when he opened his eyes, Hidan was still there.

"Alright, you ass, get out of the water!" Kakuzu yelled at him. Sadly, this was normal for them. "You're scaring all the fish away and then we won't be able to eat."

Hidan stopped trying to catch the fish with his bare hands. "You're just fucking pissed 'cause I fucking broke your fucking expensive 'string tied to a stick."

Kakuzu snapped right about there. He swung the fishing rod's line out of the water and directed it towards Hidan. His aim was deadly, and the hook caught the immortal in the ear. Kakuzu reeled his partner in; pleased at the yelps of pain he received. Once Hidan was back on shore, Kakuzu let him go and went back to fishing.

"Make sure you stay out of trouble," Kakuzu instructed strictly.

Hidan pouted as he took the spot next to his captive, nursing his bleeding ear. The pain was delicious, but he wouldn't ever admit to that.

The hostage ninja (who was now more terrified than anything) looked at Kakuzu, then Hidan, and then Kakuzu again. "I didn't know you two were married."

Both criminals flinched.

Hidan spoke first, "The fuck gave you that idea?"

"Well," the hostage then realized that he had obviously said the wrong thing to his capturers, "you two fight as if you've been married for a long time."

…

Kakuzu looked over his shoulder slowly, not surprised in the least to see a dead body with quite a few of Hidan's kunais in it and Hidan looking extremely pissy.

Kakuzu sighed again, "I think you over did it, honey."

"Shut the fuck up, asswipe!"

"Awww, do you need a nap, dear?"

"I said, shut the fuck up!"

"I love you too, sweetie."

Hidan finally stood up and walked away, leaving Kakuzu alone with the dead body. Kakuzu liked the silent moments, and now that he was alone, he could think about what believable lie he could tell Pein about why their captive was dead.

… Maybe he should deal with Hidan first. Explaining that he was 'just kidding' (something Kakuzu **never** did) would be the death of him.

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-Atopos


End file.
